How to improve your friendly messages

Well, the results of your Unit 3 tests are in, and it’s very clear that many of you are capable of writing better friendly messages. Here are some tips on how you can improve your technique and style:

1st paragraph: Capture the moment better

Compare these two opening paragraphs:

1. Hi. How are you? I’m fine. I’m in class now, studying English and thinking of you.

2. Hi. How are you? I’m fine. I’m in writing class now, sitting by the window, writing a letter to you. It’s a gorgeous sunny day outside. I’m listening to my teacher talk in English, and I can’t understand what he is saying. I look outside and see birds flying above the trees and white puffy clouds floating in a bright blue sky. Next period is lunch time, so I can feel my stomach grumbling with hunger. I’m thinking about that delicious ham sandwich I’m going to eat in only 30 minutes! Yummy! In fact, I’m so hungry now I can’t concentrate on the lesson!

So, which is better, number 1 or number 2? Well, I hop you think number 2 is better! Why is it better? Here are a few reasons:

• It’s longer
• It describes the moment more clearly
• It uses the present continuous tense
• It uses many sensory adjectives

Paragraph 2: Telling a focused story

1. I had a very fun day yesterday. In the morning, I went shopping with my friend at Favore. We browsed around but didn’t buy very much. We ate lunch at Caprichoza, my favorite Italian restaurant. After that, we drove to Toyama City and went shopping around Nishi-cho. Then at night we went to a karaoke place to sing. We met some other friends and had a good time. 

2. I had a very interesting experience while shopping with Kozue at Favore yesterday. While we were walking by movie theater, a young woman was yelling at her two small children. She looked angry with them. They were making lots of noise by crying and arguing with each other. I felt kind of embarrassed for her, so I gave her a smile as I passed by. She looked back at me with an exasperated expression. Then suddenly she approached me and said she was planning on seeing a movie with her children, but since they were acting terribly, she didn’t want to go anymore. She asked us if we wanted to use her tickets. I looked at Kozue, and we decided right away to take them. We ended up watching Ponyo for free! It was real fun! 

Paragraph 3: Closing with questions

1. I have good friends here, but I miss you very much. Please come and visit me soon! I’m looking forward to going out together again. 

2. I have good friends here, but I miss you very much. I hope you are well! When will you come to visit me again? I want you to go out with my new friends. Where do you want to go when you come? Please let me know and I can arrange it. Take care, and write to me in English! Let’s practice.